toastsenpai: (Husbands)

As Makoto stared at Haruka a sudden thought came into his head. He was always staring. Or maybe it was more like watching? Watching for a different reaction than that smooth stoic look that Haruka always wore. Watching for perhaps that very rare quirk of a lip that would tell him Haruka was having a good time. It was simple things like that he looked for constantly now a days.

Makoto was no mind reader, but he’d like to say he was a Haru-professional. Growing up with Haruka meant that he had done many years of this “watching”. Close watching too. Most of the time he did it just to see if he could get a new reaction out of his beloved Haru-chan. When Haruka did show a small smile that he tried to hide, it make Makoto’s heart soar with triumph that he was the one that had put that smile there.

He snapped out of his on going stare the moment Haruka tilted his head and locked eyes with him. They were in their first class of the day. Makoto liked school and it was easy for him, but that didn’t mean he always paid attention… especially not when Haru was sitting next to him. In his eyes, Haru was like this brand new burger at a fast food place. Intriguing, fresh, and most of all something he wanted sink his teeth into as soon as possible. It hadn’t always been like that though.

Before high school he had been seeing the world with rose colored glasses on. He tried to only remember the most special and fun parts of his childhood. Most of those memories included that with all his friends. Haruka was one of them, but Nagisa and Rin were important too. But now… everything was spinning. Those glasses were off, crushed under his own foot. He was seeing perfectly clear except for that one thing that would sometimes cloud his vision. That cloud was Haruka.

It wasn’t necessarily a bad cloud, but it left Makoto feeling odd. Of course, he wasn’t oblivious to what this dazed state of his meant. He knew for a fact that his feelings for Haru were turning into something more than just the standard “friend”. This was something that always happened, yea? Only with girls and boys instead of both boys… He could care less about that though. Haru was in his line of sight. He always had been, but now it was almost like a there was this longing that was pulling him towards Haru. Pulling him in hard and there wasn’t a way to stop it unless the line snapped and he dropped into the ocean.

“Makoto. What is it?” Haruka’s voice brought him to the surface. Makoto realized he had been staring once again. He smiled his famous light hearted smile and waved his hand.

“Ah, it’s nothing. Sorry. I was just thinking about when we were kids.” Makoto tried to keep his voice down, aware that the teacher could call him out for disrupting class at any minute. He hadn’t completely lied to Haru, but what else was he going to say? Nothing Haru-chan, just thinking about inviting myself over to your house later for a little fun…

Haruka nodded and went back to doodling in his note book. Makoto let out a quick sigh of relief. He actually could ask to go over to Haru’s house, but he didn’t know if he could keep his cool. It had been increasingly harder each day to remain in control of himself. When he was around Haruka and their other friends, it was easier. But if Makoto was alone with Haru… his head started to fill with a few select images that he blinked away.

Why was it so hard to be a teenager?


“Haru-channn! You should have a sleep over! That’d be super fun!”

The boys of the swimming club were currently changing into their swim suits for practice when Nagisa sprung up the idea. Makoto wanted to give Nagisa a big thumbs down for that one. If Haru had a sleepover (which he highly doubted Haru would ever agree too) then that spelled bad news for himself. Sure, a sleepover would be a great time with Nagisa and Rei, but the actual sleeping part, now that would possibly be the biggest challenge. Lately, Makoto had been having several dreams that he didn’t want anyone finding out about. Especially not Haru-chan.

“Since this is the fifth time today you’ve bugged me about it, fine. You can all come over tonight. Bring something to do and eat before you come over since none of you like mackerel very much,” Haruka said with a sigh as he pulled his shirt over his head.

Makoto could have cried right then and here. Cried from happiness perhaps? He didn’t know. Inside him there was a giant storm going on, but outside, he was the three C’s. Cool, calm, and collected. He gave a big smile, trying to look at Haruka’s face and not his almost naked body.

“It’ll be fun to stay at your place, Haru-chan. I like your cooking though, there’s nothing wrong with mackerel.”

He was being honest when he said he liked Haruka’s cooking too. Sure, it was just fish, but it was tasty fish. Haru could probably open his own little restaurant or something… though people would get sick of fish being the only thing on the menu. Makoto stripped out of his clothes like the rest of his friends and put his jammer on. He was once again disappointed that Haru already wore his suit like underwear so he didn’t have to change. Then again… it wouldn’t be a good thing to be popping a boner in front of all his friends. Which was going to happen if he didn’t stop thinking about a naked Haru.

Makoto forced himself to settle down and quickly made for the cold water of the pool.


After waiting a good hour or so after he had went home to go to Haru’s house, Makoto slowly waked his way there. He didn’t want to be the first one because then they’d be alone. Half a year ago that would have been fine, but not now. Now he absolutely could not predict what would happen if he was alone with Haruka. Especially if Haruka was just in his jammer and an apron. Good lord that had been one of the most attractive things he had ever seen.

Makoto took a deep breath before ringing Haruka’s doorbell. A minute passed before Haruka opened the door wide to let him in. He had that blank expression on his face… well maybe it wasn’t “blank” but it wasn’t very readable. Though he could tell that Haru was a bit excited for the sleepover. He just had this feeling.

“Hey Haru-chan. Are the others here yet?” Makoto asked as smoothly as he could. He didn’t want to come across as eager but…

“No. Nagisa said he and Rei would be here around seven thirty. I thought that’s what time you were going to show up too.” Haru shut the door quietly behind his friend.

Makoto glanced at the clock Haru had hanging up in the hallway. It was only a little after six. Well shit. He must not have heard that part about coming over later. Now he was screwed for sure. He had done it to himself too. Not paying attention at all during practice because his mind was blissfully elsewhere in a world where Haru wasn’t his friend, but his-


He blinked and found Haruka standing in front of him, giving him a small expression of worry. Makoto couldn’t have that. Haruka should not be worrying about him at all because there was nothing to worry about. He wanted Haruka happy and dare he say it, free of burdens. As quick as he could, Makoto grinned and slipped off his shoes.

“Sorry Haru-chan. I was trying to remember if I put my jammer in the wash before I left home. I’m pretty sure I did.” Another lie, but hell, he couldn’t not lie right now.

“Ah.” It seemed Haruka had bought it and made his way to the kitchen. Makoto wanted to follow him but instead let his eyes watch that tight ass he had been thinking about so much recently. Haruka was actually wearing some blue basketball shorts instead of his jammer, but Makoto would bet a thousand yen that underneath Haru’s shorts was some sort of swim wear. He wondered if Haru even owned any real underwear.

“I’m going to drop my bag off in your room quick if that’s okay?” Makoto asked as Haru rounded the corner. He heard the other hum in agreement and he headed to Haru’s room.

Makoto loved being in Haru’s room. Well, he loved being in Haru’s house, but his friend’s room was the best place. It smelled like Haru the most and looked like Haru the most and hell it probably even tasted like Haru the most. But he wasn’t about to lick the floor or anything. Makoto dropped his bag next to Haruka’s bed and resisted the urge to press his face into the pillows that were neatly resting on top. He wanted to just bury himself in the blankets and wait until Haru came looking for him. But what excuse would he have then? That he was tired and decided to take a nap? Makoto was pretty sure Haru wouldn’t buy that.

Makoto would have also liked to look around Haru’s room a bit more closely, like in the drawers and such, but he respected his friend’s privacy enough to resist and instead went to the kitchen where Haru was heating up a pan of oil. Makoto came into the room as quietly as possible and stopped just inside the doorway. He watched Haru, who now had an apron on, swirl the oil around the pan. He had a strong need to go up to Haru from behind and hold him, but he didn’t. He couldn’t. At least, not now.

Haruka slowly placed a fillet into his pan and a loud sizzling filled the room. Makoto decided to take a seat at the table, hoping Haru would cook some fish for him too. He hadn’t eaten at home, much too busy thinking of what might happen in the future between them. Haru heard him pull out a chair and glanced at him. His expression didn’t change but Makoto offered a warm smile.

“You’ll make me some too, yea? I haven’t eaten since lunch.”

Haruka gave him a nod and went back to cooking, seemingly oblivious to what Makoto might hiding behind that caring smile of his.


After they were both full on fish and some raw veggies that Haru had lying around in his fridge, they went into the living room to wait for Nagisa and Rei to show up. It was seven so they didn’t have to wait long. Makoto let himself fall onto the comfortable couch and relaxed. He was doing just fine all alone with Haru. It wasn’t as bad as he thought it was going to be. There were still urges, but they were faint and Makoto could easily remove them from his mind.

Haruka grabbed the remote before sitting down next to Makoto. He switched on the TV and pressed in a few numbers that took him to some anime that Makoto had never seen before. He didn’t mind though. Anime was fine.

“I usually only watch swimming news if there is any, or the weather, but I don’t think you want to watch those. Anime is fine, right? I don’t really have any movies otherwise I’d put one of those in,” Haru asked as he set the remote down next to him and pressed himself into the couch, looking at Makoto.

“This is fine for now. I’m sure Nagisa will bring some scary movie or something… not that I really want to watch that but…” Makoto trailed off, really hoping that Nagisa did not bring a horror movie.

“Hmp. If you get scared you can hold my hand.”

Makoto knew for a fact that Haru was teasing him. He even had that super tiny little smirk on his face that drove Makoto crazy. Even if it was a tease, Makoto took a shocked breath in, eyes widening slightly. It had startled him and he quickly needed to cover it up before Haru noticed something amiss.

“Haha, good one Haru-chan. I think I’d be able to make it through just fine though.” Makoto gave a laugh that sounded a little too forced looked back at the TV quickly, trying to seem interested in the show. Haruka’s smirk turned into a small frown.

“Makoto-” “Haru-chan-”

Both of them stopped abruptly, not wanting to talk over the other person. Makoto turned back to Haruka and waited, knowing that he would go first if he didn’t say anything. Haruka’s face had turned different though. He almost looked a little… shy now? This was new, very new indeed and it intrigued Makoto.

“It’s just… You’ve been acting a little different lately. You always say you’re thinking about when we were little or something when I ask you, but I’m pretty sure you are lying,” Haru spoke slowly, keeping eye contact with Makoto, who was by now losing his grip on his emotions ever so slightly.

“Wh-why would you think that, Haru-chan? I guess I’ve just been busy lately. I mean I want to find a part time job if I can, to help pay for some of our club activities and you know, summer is right around the corner-”

“You’re lying. I can tell. I know exactly the face you make when you lie and you’ve had it on all day today.”

The pit of Makoto’s stomach twisted. He had been that easily found out? Was there nothing he could hide from Haru? He swore he was being careful enough… Makoto hung his head, hands gripping onto the couch tight. He didn’t know what to say. If he lied again would Haru know for sure? How could he get out of this easily without revealing what he had really been thinking about? He didn’t know. He just did not know.

Haruka’s expression softened a bit and he put his own hand over the Makoto’s right. Makoto gave a small jerk and looked at the hand on top of his own before allowing himself to meet Haru’s eyes. Those god damn eyes that were full of fire and bliss when Haru was swimming and now they held something different. They held concern and a few other things that Makoto had no clue about. All he knew for sure was that Haru’s hand on his was warm. It made him want to do something crazy. Something that would cross that delicate boundary line between friends and lovers. Makoto thought himself just stupid enough to try it, because maybe he’d never had a chance as perfect as this one.

“Makoto, it’s o-”

As soon as Haru’s mouth was in the process of shaping the word ’okay’ Makoto dove in. He flipped his hand and over and held onto Haru’s tightly. He didn’t want him getting away too easily. Makoto decided that closing his eyes was not an option as he let himself kiss Haru softly. He didn’t want to miss the way those eyes lit up in shock. Makoto waited for the moment Haru pulled away and gave him a good punch to the face. He knew it would probably happen, so he enjoyed the heat of Haru’s lips as much as he could for a few seconds.

The punch never came. In fact, Haru didn’t pull away at all. Makoto watched as Haru’s eyes took on an unfocused look and felt him push back onto his own lips. The hand he held gave his a squeeze and Makoto almost lost it. He just about pushed Haru down and got right on top of him. In fact, he probably would have, but the doorbell rang loudly. Makoto quickly pulled himself away, face flushed. He noticed that Haru’s was a little pink, but not as colored as his own was. Without saying anything, Haruka got up and went to the door and Makoto let himself sneak off to the bathroom where he could compose himself.

Once there he splashed cold water onto his face and took deep breaths. He could hear Nagisa’s sing song voice out in the hallway. All he could think was Holy shit I just kissed Haru-chan and he kissed me back.

He didn’t want to elaborate on it though. He couldn’t let himself. Makoto had to get out there and have a good time with his friends. He couldn’t let anything show through his usually cheerful demeanor. After everyone was gone tomorrow, that’s when he’d talk to Haru about what had happened.

Makoto hurried out of the bathroom and found his friends in the living room that he had just been in. Apparently Nagisa had brought his video game console with and was hooking it up while Rei showed Haru a DVD that was all about different butterflies. Makoto put on a smile and greeted everyone.

It was going to be a long night.

-Chapter 2 here.-


toastsenpai: (Default)

August 2013

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